Personality DNA

If you could find personality traits on DNA here are a couple that would be on mine:
1) Nosiness--yeah I'm nosey I make no bones about it. If you say something interesting in earshot of me, my ears will perk up and I'll be all up in your business. You have to admire the fact that at least I'm honest about it. I'm nosey as hell I want to know what's going on around me and that is something that won't stop until I'm dead and buried.
2) Sarcasm--I'm not as bad as I was when I was surly teenager but I still have my moments. It's a a trait that my dad, sister, and me all share so it's especially acidic to be around us if we're all feeling sarcastic on the same day. It's every person for themselves when those days come in the Crockett household.
3) Stubbornness--I like things my way. I realize that sounds bratty but I'm okay with it. I'm a lot better than I was ten years ago and I'm sure as hell a lot better than some people my age or older but yeah if I really want something I will dig in my heels and not move until I get it the way I want it. Annoying at times yes but also effective in getting stuff the way I want it and as I said I don't do it that much now only in special circumstances.
4) Procrastination--?

Now I'm not as bad as my family members on some levels. When it comes to housework, or getting other stuff done like bills, car stuff etc I am Johnny-on-the-spot. I can get it down and get it down quickly if nothing else to get it out of the way. I don't like putting a whole lot of stuff of. Perfect example; today Albert had the "brilliant" idea of giving Trio a mini bag of Doritos which he promptly overturned on the couch. I gave him the stink eye but he was like "I'll get it" So I waited. And waited...and eventually I took out the dust buster and picked it up myself after Trio was done "eating" it because I didn't want chip crumbs everywhere. Stuff like that I don't wait for and I hate when I ask someone to do it that they sit around twiddling their thumbs. Albert tells me I'm too impatient which I get but when I ask you to do something I want it done then not two days later; if I wanted it done two days later, well then I would ask you to do it two days later. Cleaning I don't procrastinate on I just hate doing it but I'd rather get it done and over with. If I don't clean it's because (like this last week) I have felt like utter shit and barely have enough energy to dress myself let alone clean a living room that's been struck by Tornado Trio.

Stuff like that I do not procrastinate on I get it from my mother. When I ask you do to something I pretty much want you to jump and do it then and I ask I don't order but it would be nice if you showed me that consideration. On other stuff though I procrastinate a lot...

Like my writing. I have a book written. It's not perfect I think the ending comes too quickly but I like where it ends so I have to think of a way to make the ending not so sudden. I have another idea floating around in my head I'm sure I could be good at. But something is stopping me. Sure I could come up with a laundry list of reasons; I am in the middle of a good book, Trio is too demanding of my time, I have to clean, I'm tired, blah blah blah.

The truth is I am afraid rejection. And I know you're thinking "Duh, everyone is" but no I seriously am. I have no desire to go get my MFA in Creative Writing because I have heard horror stories about how "critiques" are done then and it sends me into a cold sweat and the fear that I would have to be punch drunk every time I was on the chopping block. But I am terrified of it because it just seems another way that I'm not good enough. You may remember from an earlier blog about how I was in middle school. Well part of me can't let that go. Back then and even in high school it felt like I wasn't good enough in any way including looks, talent (which I know is silly since I was a great violist and thespian). But putting a book out there to try to get published is scary shit. What if people don't like it?

And I realize that is so silly because not everyone is going to like your books. Hell I have favorite authors and they have books by them that I don't like simply because it isn't my cup of tea such as Eric Jerome Dickey's Thieves Paradise or Johanna Lindsey's Joining or even the Karma Marx series by Katie MacAlister. But the fear almost paralyzes me when it comes to finding an agent and trying to get out there because I am worried no one will like my work.

But I'm gong to try to stop that crap now. Hopefully by the end of the year I will have worked up the courage to have sent the manuscript off to an agent and find one who will represent me to get the ball rolling on my writing career. I love blogging and writing for Associated Content is fine but I want my words to reach a broader audience. All I have to do is get over this procrastination strand of my DNA and be brave and send it out. All I can do now is hope I don't somehow talk my way out of it again.