Returning to Work (?)

I turned in an application to Hastings yesterday and I am very excited about it. I did originally want to go to Blizzard but upon reflection it seems that Hastings is more me. I told them I would be available to start work December 1st so hopefully everything will work out for me.

The hardest part of this so far was telling the mother of the little girl I babysit that I had to turn in an application.

I'm not very a confrontational person. Stop laughing, I hear you, I'm serious. When I actually do confront somebody about something then it has been boiling awhile and when it gets too much is when I blow up and really tear someone a new one. So telling the woman this was hard for me. I anticipated yelling, insults, etc but she took it well. I am one of those people that I tend to think the worst will come out of a situation which is probably one of the reasons I hate confrontation so much. But it also that I forgot that this woman, for all her flaws and shortcomings (which everyone has don't get me wrong) understands doing what is best for you and yours and that sometimes you have to make small sacrifices to help out in the long run.

And that's what I'm doing. While part of me understands the huge benefits of working (we can pay off bills quicker, maybe can think about getting a house, etc) I do hate that I'm going back to work not even two years after Trio was born. What's a little more of a bitter pill is that, while part of me wants to stay at home, part of me wants to work. Whether it's because my husband is inadvertently (or on purpose) making me feel like a bum or I just need something really productive to do with part of my time so I don't feel so effing crazy. Plus the whole money thing is really big; I know it seems like I'm obsessed with money but I don't like living just barely making it I like to have my bills paid and then some for emergencies or even just fun like going out on date nights to eat or to the movies.

So keep your fingers crossed for me on this job; hopefully I will get it.