Okay I have touched this briefly in blogs before but in light of so many people bugging me about I have to get on a soapbox and rant for awhile. If you've read any of my rants before you know what you're in for if not well here we go.
I HATE HATE HATE how everyone seems to think that they should constantly share their opinion when it comes to how to raise a child and whether you should go back to work or not. While I know I may have to get a job I am looking for one that is as much opposite Albert's schedule as humanly possible without actually being a graveyard shift so we don't have to put Trio in daycare. Why you ask? Why not, people say. Your child really should be in daycare, they say.
Lemme tell you something. Telling a SAHM that her child needs to be in daycare for social/developmental/whatever reason you can possibly think of is on par with telling a working mom she should keep her butt at home and take care of her child. See? How's that sound? Not so nice when the shoe is on the other foot is it? It sounds harsh and judgemental doesn't it? Well that street runs both ways and don't you for a second doubt it. It's different strokes for different folks and having worked in daycare I have no earthly desire to put my child into any daycare I don't care how good it is. It's not even necessarily because of the germs or kids getting left behind in a classroom because honestly mistakes like that happen. The main reason is it's too damn expensive. It is too expensive for what you get and you don't get a lot because whenever there is something new and fun coming along like guests to entertain the kids or going on field trips guess what? You have an increase in tuition or have to pay a "special" price just for Spring Break, Winter Vacation, Summer Holiday, blah blah blah. That's more money that you have to pay in addition to the arm and leg that daycare is already costing you.
Plus the turnover is atrocious mainly because they sometimes hire little teenagers who think "Oh daycare" and think it is just playing with cute babies and freak out the first time they have to change a dirty diaper of (gasp) clean up puke!! I am so not a girly girl therefore I don't need nor want a girly girl taking care of my son because he's all boy meaning there will be puke, pee, poop, blood and yes sometimes various combinations of all of the above. You have people who have been there so long they just don't care to tell the teacher you relieves them anything so you go pick your kid up and the teacher honestly can't tell you why there is a bite mark on your child because she wasn't informed of it. Or you have lazy teachers who don't do anything to help or clean so it all falls on one person and as luck would have it that's the teacher who actually wants to make it fun but now they have no time.
I like staying at home with my son. Yes sometimes he drives me up the wall especially with my car being out of commission but you know what? I wouldn't trade it. Why would I at this age? If he was in school it would be one thing but he's not. Why work at a job that I have lukewarm feelings towards at best only to have a large percentage of my check go to daycare? Yes if you're like a lawyer then daycare is not that big of a dent but for us other people it is.
Bottom line is this; some people like be working moms some don't. Some people are content to stay at home and others are bored out of their minds. The thing we choose. The women's movement back in the sixties wasn't necessarily for the right to work although that was a big hunk. It was for the right to choose what we, as women, as mothers, as wives wanted to do. We didn't want the options to disappear once we got married and suddenly we were house women doing nothing but cooking, cleaning, and popping out babies. If we wanted to work we wanted to choose to work. If we were fine staying at home well that's all well too. But no you have Femi-nazis making you feel horrible when you want to stay home giving you diatribe like "You need to work and your child should be in daycare"
Bump. That.
I choose to stay at home. I have many friends who choose to work. Neither option makes us better mothers than the other one because we're still mothers. We still worry about our child when they're coughing a lung up in their sleep, we still cuddle and comfort them when they fall or when they're sick or when they have hurt feelings from a friend. We still love our children more than anything in the world no matter if we punch in a time clock or our child's babbles are our alarm clock. And people need to realize that and stop perpetuating this fight between working moms and moms who stay at home because all it is the end is a decision that you made because you felt it was right for you and your family in the long run. I've given you the reason why I don't like daycare but not everybody has that experience. Some people love the daycare their kids go to and that's great because you have to feel completely comfortable in that situation. However it's not for me.
And I feel I should add if you are one of those constantly trying to get friends to defer to your side whichever it may be you need to stop and think if you're really happy in the position you choose and stop picking on the other side. Because if you're so certain that your choice was the best that you make others feel bad when they don't make the same one then maybe you're not as certain you made the right decision as you want others to believe.
*steps off box*
I'm done.
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