Whiny Blog

*Warning: This is going to be a whiny blog. Sorry if you don't like it but I don't do it very often, it's my blog, and I want to whine. Feel free to stop reading if you feel like it though I don't mind*

For the most part we've been fortunate enough to afford me staying at home but as of the last few months it seems like we will no longer be that fortunate. I mean a whole bunch of stuff has fallen upon us such as this crap with the car which we thought was a water pump but turns out to be a nasty crack in the radiator not to mention a sensor and thermostat needing to be replaced since it overheated already. So that is going to cost us a pretty penny which will go on the credit card and it just seems to be another drop in an overflowing bucket.

I mean we're still pretty far from our limits on the cards so I suppose I should be grateful since a couple of friends are already at their limit and have tons of credit card debt. If you look at it that way then we're pretty damn good because our debt is really not that much. However it still sucks that our money is so tight lately that we can't even go out on a date night somewhere cheap because we can't afford it. And it sucks because it seems like karma is just giving us the big old middle finger which is very frustrating you know because we've helped out people before and we've done good things for family when they needed help and you would think the universe would be nice to us or something and I realize that you don't do good things as a tally I know this but it still doesn't stop the suckiness.

And I know people are thinking "Paige don't you have a degree?" and yes, yes I do but do you know what it's in? Creative Writing; do you know why people become authors? Because they're creative yes and they like to write yes and let's be honest another quality is liking to drink I do have all these qualities but another reason is because they're okay with people but no one would ever call them social butterflies by any means and I'm that way. I have friends I go out it's not like I'm a hermit but sometimes I like being alone and sometimes I am socially awkward in new situations and it sucks but I can't help that. I'm a homebody and I like to be alone sometimes and writing is a good way to do that. So yes Virginia I have a degree but it's in a degree where most of the time I am at home, looking at a computer screen and getting my ideas down on paper. And until I feel proud enough of a manuscript to actually send it out to find an agent I'm boned because I'm stuck in an endless rut it feels like.

Don't get me wrong I like my degree and I am very proud of it but I'm also realistic enough to realize that with the degree I have I can't go into an office an expect to get a damn good paying job. I know that this too shall pass and Casino season is around the corner so I'll get a little bit more money and that I might get an agent and all this will be something to laugh about.

But I can't pretend it doesn't suck a lot and I can't pretend that I'm overjoyed at looking for a job where I'm stuck in an office away from my child and my husband at night. Whine whine whine piss piss piss moan moan moan.

And I'm done. Thanks.