Last week was my birthday. On the actual day I went to see Mamma Mia! at Bass with two friends. Friday Albert took off and we went to the Metzner pool in Pflugerville with our son and niece and went to see Transformers: Rise of the Fallen, and this weekend I celebrated by going to Pluckers and bowling with more friends and family (BTW if you have large parties at Pluckers I recommend outside seating. It's not too hot b/c it's covered plus they have misters that mist water all over you so it's not too bad). I had a FANTASTIC time. Mamma Mia! was awesome and just so much fun with the poppy Abba tunes and the brightly colored spandex outfits and I had a great time singing along in my head and laughing with my friends. It was great spending time alone with my husband and son and watching them interact at the park and it was great having one on one time with him at the movies. I had a great time at Plucker's and bowling was awesome and I had a blast.
And at the risk of sounding selfish I was so glad that I was able to actually do something on my birthday this year. Two years ago I was pregnant so I couldn't get drunk but I did bowl (albeit not really well since I wasn't suppose to lift heavy stuff). Last year Trio was recovering from heart surgery and we almost were discharged on my birthday but actually ended up getting out on the day after. So my birthday I was in the hospital room and went out just to dinner with my sister. I have to admit that I was grateful to have something to do on my birthday that was for me. I was so paranoid to call attention to it b/c then I knew something would happen and I would have to not do anything. I got into that habit last year in the hospital; it felt like every time I would celebrate b/c we might be getting out we'd have to stay an extra few days. So this year I didn't call attention to it.
But I am so grateful that I was able to do something. And that's not all. I'm grateful that here it is, a year after open heart surgery and my son is fine. Here it is a year after where I didn't know if he would make it or not and I am going through all the stages I wasn't sure I would to experience with my wonderful son. While my life is crazy sometimes and frustrating I do know how lucky I am in some respects if not in all but this weekend helped me to realize it. I have a good marriage and while everyone may not understand why I do the things I do or he does if we're okay with it that's all that matters. We're able to make it by on one income and that's great b/c if I get a part-time job we should be doing really fantastic.
But most of all I have my boys the two men in the world who mean so much to me with the exception of my father. And this weekend with them made everything I go through that's hard worth it.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Father's Day
Since yesterday was Father's Day I decided to write about the idea of Fatherhood today. There are some facts that boggle me about father's and I wanted to get them out and say my opinion about the whole thing.
I remember reading a couple of years ago on a Trivial Pursuit card (yes I am such a nerd) that Father's Day is the one day of the year where the most collect calls are put through. I was somewhat unnerved by that. I mean how are you going to call your dad collect on his day? It just seems wrong. Then there was an article in the Statesmen a couple of years ago that said that when children are left in the car and end up dying that fathers get more leniency then the mother; meaning that dads tend to get off with lighter sentences and/or probation while mothers get long years. And it went on to say that most people have the mentality that mother's are doing nature's work and dad's are just basically facilitators whenever they watch the kids.
Which I think is crap; quite honestly there's no other way to put it. Fathers are parents too it doesn't matter that they weren't the one to carry the child around during the gestation period they are parents. I tell my hubby many a times I didn't conceive Trio on my own it was a two person effort and parenting is a two person job. I find it annoying when people say dad's are "babysitting" when they watch the kids; one of my friends teased Albert about that awhile back when I was going out with some friends that he was on babysitting duty and I said flat out "That's bullshit he's not on babysitting duty he's on daddy duty it's his son too". It's like no matter what that society is still in the fifites where the mom does everything with the child and the father earns the money. It's even worse if you happen to be in the position like mine where the mom stays at home people just assume you should do everything. And I do a lot but I draw the line at doing everythign because what I do is work I just don't get paid for it. You know it's work when you can be gone for like an hour and when you get back there is chaos strewn everywhere in the form of toys because they didn't notice.
Last December I went to The Nutcracker with a friend and left the kids with the husbands. When we got back to my place it was trashed and I was pissed; because the older boy had taken out all the toys from the toybox and dumped them on the floor and because he had gotten a stamp and stamped all over the hallway wall and door. And I asked Albert later "What the hell were you two doing that not only did he make a mess but he was able to mark up the door? Seriously did you not look up at all in the two and half hours I was gone?" And that really upset me because I should not get to go away to work or have fun and come back to drama and chaos in the form of a messy house because whoever was in charge wasn't observant to notice and make the children clean up after themselves. That's just how I look at it while staying at home is hard a lot of it is common sense. Should a toddler have an open marker or stamp and be left unobserved where they can write anywhere? How 'bout no?
I don't agree with deadbeat dads not paying child support (or parents in general b/c let's be honest there are some shitty mothers out there) but on that other side it seems society treats fathers like they're walking sperm donors and not actual parents. Everything in society seems to say the only thing a dad is good for is giving money and that's just not true. While there is nothing you can do about parents that are just messed up and aren't right there is something we can do to make good dads feel as important as they are. Don't be cheap and call you dad collect any day unless you're in jail. If a dad leaves a child in the car all day b/c he "forgot" he should just as much jail time as a mother would. Dads watching kids while the moms goes out is not babysitting it's being a parent. We need to recognize that in the parental process dads are just as important as mothers are and it's time for this double standard to stop where dads are made to feel like they're more inferior to mothers.
You're probably wondering if I feel this way while I admonished my husband in December. It's because I expect from him what I expect from me in terms of parenting and I was disappointed that happened because I feel he should have been more observant then what he was. We're in this together and I have to be able to trust that if I go out of town that everything will be somewhat smooth when I get back. I try to make him accountable for what happens on his watch because I'm accountable for what happens on my watch. I don't let him feel like a babysitter I make him feel like a father and that works for us. I admit I was different at first; I called and worried that he was doing things wrong and all that jazz. He told me it made him feel bad because it made him feel like I was second guessing him and his parenting skills and I had to work on that. I encourage everyone else to as well. Let's recognize fathers for the wonderful parents they are.
I hope everyone had a happy Father's Day!!
I remember reading a couple of years ago on a Trivial Pursuit card (yes I am such a nerd) that Father's Day is the one day of the year where the most collect calls are put through. I was somewhat unnerved by that. I mean how are you going to call your dad collect on his day? It just seems wrong. Then there was an article in the Statesmen a couple of years ago that said that when children are left in the car and end up dying that fathers get more leniency then the mother; meaning that dads tend to get off with lighter sentences and/or probation while mothers get long years. And it went on to say that most people have the mentality that mother's are doing nature's work and dad's are just basically facilitators whenever they watch the kids.
Which I think is crap; quite honestly there's no other way to put it. Fathers are parents too it doesn't matter that they weren't the one to carry the child around during the gestation period they are parents. I tell my hubby many a times I didn't conceive Trio on my own it was a two person effort and parenting is a two person job. I find it annoying when people say dad's are "babysitting" when they watch the kids; one of my friends teased Albert about that awhile back when I was going out with some friends that he was on babysitting duty and I said flat out "That's bullshit he's not on babysitting duty he's on daddy duty it's his son too". It's like no matter what that society is still in the fifites where the mom does everything with the child and the father earns the money. It's even worse if you happen to be in the position like mine where the mom stays at home people just assume you should do everything. And I do a lot but I draw the line at doing everythign because what I do is work I just don't get paid for it. You know it's work when you can be gone for like an hour and when you get back there is chaos strewn everywhere in the form of toys because they didn't notice.
Last December I went to The Nutcracker with a friend and left the kids with the husbands. When we got back to my place it was trashed and I was pissed; because the older boy had taken out all the toys from the toybox and dumped them on the floor and because he had gotten a stamp and stamped all over the hallway wall and door. And I asked Albert later "What the hell were you two doing that not only did he make a mess but he was able to mark up the door? Seriously did you not look up at all in the two and half hours I was gone?" And that really upset me because I should not get to go away to work or have fun and come back to drama and chaos in the form of a messy house because whoever was in charge wasn't observant to notice and make the children clean up after themselves. That's just how I look at it while staying at home is hard a lot of it is common sense. Should a toddler have an open marker or stamp and be left unobserved where they can write anywhere? How 'bout no?
I don't agree with deadbeat dads not paying child support (or parents in general b/c let's be honest there are some shitty mothers out there) but on that other side it seems society treats fathers like they're walking sperm donors and not actual parents. Everything in society seems to say the only thing a dad is good for is giving money and that's just not true. While there is nothing you can do about parents that are just messed up and aren't right there is something we can do to make good dads feel as important as they are. Don't be cheap and call you dad collect any day unless you're in jail. If a dad leaves a child in the car all day b/c he "forgot" he should just as much jail time as a mother would. Dads watching kids while the moms goes out is not babysitting it's being a parent. We need to recognize that in the parental process dads are just as important as mothers are and it's time for this double standard to stop where dads are made to feel like they're more inferior to mothers.
You're probably wondering if I feel this way while I admonished my husband in December. It's because I expect from him what I expect from me in terms of parenting and I was disappointed that happened because I feel he should have been more observant then what he was. We're in this together and I have to be able to trust that if I go out of town that everything will be somewhat smooth when I get back. I try to make him accountable for what happens on his watch because I'm accountable for what happens on my watch. I don't let him feel like a babysitter I make him feel like a father and that works for us. I admit I was different at first; I called and worried that he was doing things wrong and all that jazz. He told me it made him feel bad because it made him feel like I was second guessing him and his parenting skills and I had to work on that. I encourage everyone else to as well. Let's recognize fathers for the wonderful parents they are.
I hope everyone had a happy Father's Day!!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Summer Reading
I am a bibliomaniac. There I said it; I love to read. Besides drinking glasses, whenever we move books take up the most space. My poor husband (who is not afflicted like me) sometimes just walks around the house going "There are books everywhere!!" I come from a books of readers; my mom and dad did and since they read so much my sister and I did to entertain ourselves. In fact my son is a little one too it seems as he will sit and read to himself (but that's another entry to be put on his on blog).
It seems books are like movies in that the big ones come out in the summer. All the series I read always come out in the summer or late fall (as Julie Kenner's newest Kate Connor book will be). One of the books that I was excited about this summer? Kyra Davis' Lust, Loathing, a Little Lip Gloss which is the next installment in the humorous Sophie Katz series.
Sophie is an author and 'accidental' would-be sleuth as she just happens to keep on discovering dead bodies. This book is no exception as Sophie happens to discover two within a short amount of time from each other. And I was really excited about this book being released as it has been two years since the last one was published (I remember reading it while pregnant with my son) and I have loved this series since the moment I started it.
I'll give a brief overview of the novel (with no spoilers): Sophie is wanting to buy a house and meets her ex-husband (now a realtor) at an open house; he tells her about another house that is not even open to the market yet and she agrees to meet him there. It ends up being a beautiful Victorian at an unheard of low price but unfortunately this is where Sophie finds her first dead body. The deceased's son still agrees to sell the house to Sophie for the same price if she meets the terms of his bizarre agreement which include a year's membership in the Spector Society and to report any 'ghostly' sightings to him. Should she in any way disrespect the house she is out with $20,000 but still out. The novel really picks up speed when she discovers her second body and finds out the pasts of all the society members while trying to figure out who killed the society member, including her own past in connection to one of the members.
I won't say anymore because it will spoil the book but I would definitely say pick it up as well as the rest of the series. While you don't necessarily have to read all the books in order like any other series it might behoove you if you want to read it in order. BTW if you buy it from Borders be advised that they (hopefully erroneously) call this the final Sophie book even though the author has said on her various social profiles that she is busy working on the next one, so you don't have to worry about getting into the series starting with the last book.
Happy reading!!
It seems books are like movies in that the big ones come out in the summer. All the series I read always come out in the summer or late fall (as Julie Kenner's newest Kate Connor book will be). One of the books that I was excited about this summer? Kyra Davis' Lust, Loathing, a Little Lip Gloss which is the next installment in the humorous Sophie Katz series.
Sophie is an author and 'accidental' would-be sleuth as she just happens to keep on discovering dead bodies. This book is no exception as Sophie happens to discover two within a short amount of time from each other. And I was really excited about this book being released as it has been two years since the last one was published (I remember reading it while pregnant with my son) and I have loved this series since the moment I started it.
I'll give a brief overview of the novel (with no spoilers): Sophie is wanting to buy a house and meets her ex-husband (now a realtor) at an open house; he tells her about another house that is not even open to the market yet and she agrees to meet him there. It ends up being a beautiful Victorian at an unheard of low price but unfortunately this is where Sophie finds her first dead body. The deceased's son still agrees to sell the house to Sophie for the same price if she meets the terms of his bizarre agreement which include a year's membership in the Spector Society and to report any 'ghostly' sightings to him. Should she in any way disrespect the house she is out with $20,000 but still out. The novel really picks up speed when she discovers her second body and finds out the pasts of all the society members while trying to figure out who killed the society member, including her own past in connection to one of the members.
I won't say anymore because it will spoil the book but I would definitely say pick it up as well as the rest of the series. While you don't necessarily have to read all the books in order like any other series it might behoove you if you want to read it in order. BTW if you buy it from Borders be advised that they (hopefully erroneously) call this the final Sophie book even though the author has said on her various social profiles that she is busy working on the next one, so you don't have to worry about getting into the series starting with the last book.
Happy reading!!
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Wanting
I've never been one to want to keep up with the Joneses...if someone has something nice I may want it but I don't whine or pine for it and beg my husband for a canary diamond/new car/granite counters/whatever the case may be. But I will think about it and move in because I don't feel the need nor see the sense in wanting pretty things I can't have right now.
Case in point? I want a house; a house that is ours a house we're not renting a house where I can paint or put in a nice ass kitchen as I am becoming quite the culinary master with my mini-cheesecakes and the such. However since I don't work we don't have much income coming in so there's no way we can afford a site built house any time soon. If we buy a house it will be a manufactured home because that's what we can afford and the hubster likes them as he can work on them. Okay that's do-able I can deal with one of those homes b/c once we pay it off we can move it somewhere else from this property. Am I happy? I wouldn't say overjoyed but I'm not unhappy about it if it is what I can get that's okay especially since the hubster knows what I want in a house and is steadily looking for a manufactured home with all those perks. He already knows I want a nice kitchen and built in bookshelves would be nice. So anyways getting back to my original point I want a house but I don't; I look at websites but not for long b/c as Anya said on Buffy I have no interest in taking the tour of pretty things I can't have.
Another thing; my SIL just had a baby and I guess I'm getting the look in my eyes when I look at her b/c my MIL commented on "Don't want any right now Paige, your husband said no" which is no biggie to me b/c it's true. And while I do want more kids, despite everything I may say in jest, the sane part of me knows I don't want more now; Trio is still young and while he is out of the woods health wise I want to be sure. We can't afford it unless something awesome happens (COME ON BOOK DEAL) plus I feel part of it is just "Oh look at the pretty baby I want another baby". So while I want a baby I don't; I think it wastes too much energy wanting something that you have no chance in hell of getting for a very long time if ever. It wastes energy and then you have negative energy hanging around you because the person you're with knows you want something either they can't or won't give you.
I think that's one of the problems with the world; people spend so much time wanting what they can't have either because of circumstances or because they sit around whining about how much they want it and do virtually nothing to go out there and get it. We have this whole "gimme gimme gimme" complex where we want things NOW and don't want to do any thing to get it because they expect it to come to them (usually b/c their parents gave them everything but that's another blog). No one is satisfied with what they have they insist on wanting more and more and more and that's just stupid. I think people need to learn to be happy if they have a comfortable existence. Is my life perfect? No in no way shape or form. But I'm content where I am b/c I think everyday how lucky I am that I can do what I do. B/C we live where my husband works and he is a damn good worker we will have this place to live until we buy outside or inside the community and then on if he wants. B/C of that I can stay at home for a little while longer and not have to get a job and I can be there for my son through everything until he goes to school. I have the luxury to write and who knows maybe I'll get picked up and get a contract and then we'll have money from that. I am lucky that I do not live in constant fear of my husband getting laid off, that our old 1999 little Nissan Sentra is paid off so we only have to worry about insurance and that (God be blessed) we had state insurance to help us with our son's surgeries. I am lucky that I can be a SAHM and not worry about making it.
And knowing that helps the wanting back down. B/C I am damn lucky in all those respects that I don't HAVE to get a job like other mothers in my life (whether they know it or not) and the job I do have is flexible enough that I don't have to work every party but b/c I am flexible myself they remember this and give me the great 8 hour driving out of town jobs (for which I get paid to sit in a van and ride). I am writing which I want and I have good friends. So while I may want a new house, car or baby I don't need them.
At least not yet.
Case in point? I want a house; a house that is ours a house we're not renting a house where I can paint or put in a nice ass kitchen as I am becoming quite the culinary master with my mini-cheesecakes and the such. However since I don't work we don't have much income coming in so there's no way we can afford a site built house any time soon. If we buy a house it will be a manufactured home because that's what we can afford and the hubster likes them as he can work on them. Okay that's do-able I can deal with one of those homes b/c once we pay it off we can move it somewhere else from this property. Am I happy? I wouldn't say overjoyed but I'm not unhappy about it if it is what I can get that's okay especially since the hubster knows what I want in a house and is steadily looking for a manufactured home with all those perks. He already knows I want a nice kitchen and built in bookshelves would be nice. So anyways getting back to my original point I want a house but I don't; I look at websites but not for long b/c as Anya said on Buffy I have no interest in taking the tour of pretty things I can't have.
Another thing; my SIL just had a baby and I guess I'm getting the look in my eyes when I look at her b/c my MIL commented on "Don't want any right now Paige, your husband said no" which is no biggie to me b/c it's true. And while I do want more kids, despite everything I may say in jest, the sane part of me knows I don't want more now; Trio is still young and while he is out of the woods health wise I want to be sure. We can't afford it unless something awesome happens (COME ON BOOK DEAL) plus I feel part of it is just "Oh look at the pretty baby I want another baby". So while I want a baby I don't; I think it wastes too much energy wanting something that you have no chance in hell of getting for a very long time if ever. It wastes energy and then you have negative energy hanging around you because the person you're with knows you want something either they can't or won't give you.
I think that's one of the problems with the world; people spend so much time wanting what they can't have either because of circumstances or because they sit around whining about how much they want it and do virtually nothing to go out there and get it. We have this whole "gimme gimme gimme" complex where we want things NOW and don't want to do any thing to get it because they expect it to come to them (usually b/c their parents gave them everything but that's another blog). No one is satisfied with what they have they insist on wanting more and more and more and that's just stupid. I think people need to learn to be happy if they have a comfortable existence. Is my life perfect? No in no way shape or form. But I'm content where I am b/c I think everyday how lucky I am that I can do what I do. B/C we live where my husband works and he is a damn good worker we will have this place to live until we buy outside or inside the community and then on if he wants. B/C of that I can stay at home for a little while longer and not have to get a job and I can be there for my son through everything until he goes to school. I have the luxury to write and who knows maybe I'll get picked up and get a contract and then we'll have money from that. I am lucky that I do not live in constant fear of my husband getting laid off, that our old 1999 little Nissan Sentra is paid off so we only have to worry about insurance and that (God be blessed) we had state insurance to help us with our son's surgeries. I am lucky that I can be a SAHM and not worry about making it.
And knowing that helps the wanting back down. B/C I am damn lucky in all those respects that I don't HAVE to get a job like other mothers in my life (whether they know it or not) and the job I do have is flexible enough that I don't have to work every party but b/c I am flexible myself they remember this and give me the great 8 hour driving out of town jobs (for which I get paid to sit in a van and ride). I am writing which I want and I have good friends. So while I may want a new house, car or baby I don't need them.
At least not yet.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Speechless
http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/crime/Mom_feeds_child_feces
This makes me sick and it pisses me off. How could someone do this to their own child? And what annoys me is that she whined in her blog about how hard it is to have your child in the hosptial. Yeah. It sucks; it sucks a lot but a sane person would do things to make their child better not worse. Feces in a feeding tube = worse. And now mysteriously her blog and YouTube video diary are private. Huh...not a concidence there.
I've been there it sucks to be in a hosptial with your child sick and it sucks and it stressful and you do a little crazy. However that's what the nurses and volunteers and doctors and chaplains are for. I had many of Trio's nurses look at me and bluntly tell me "You need to go for a walk and get out we'll keep a special eye/ear out for him". So I do not believe that this didn't happen to this Emily woman. And it scares me that she has two more children (who are with their father and not with her as she is in jail) and I hope that they don't have to stay with her. I hope there is some grandparent on either side that takes over because obviously this woman is not capable of taking care of her children if she was trying to kill her own child.
And that's also a point. She knew what it would do and still did it and her reasoning behind her insane logic is that it's hard to go back to that life after 2.5 years. Would it suck for something to happen to my son to cause us to be in the hosptial for long periods of time again? It would suck beyond the telling of it you have no idea how much I would hate that. What I would hate worse? Losing him so I would suck it up and deal with it, knowing that life in the hosptial is far worse for him than me because he has no understanding of what's going on and he's getting poked and prodded and given glycerin tablets to make him poop. Me I would deal and that's what this woman should have done and if she didn't want to be there all the time which is perfectly understandable she should have called in reinforcements instead of posioning her child!
I just can't imagine someone doing that to a child that is already sick. It makes me so sad. I can't even be as articulate as I want to be right now I am just so......
This makes me sick and it pisses me off. How could someone do this to their own child? And what annoys me is that she whined in her blog about how hard it is to have your child in the hosptial. Yeah. It sucks; it sucks a lot but a sane person would do things to make their child better not worse. Feces in a feeding tube = worse. And now mysteriously her blog and YouTube video diary are private. Huh...not a concidence there.
I've been there it sucks to be in a hosptial with your child sick and it sucks and it stressful and you do a little crazy. However that's what the nurses and volunteers and doctors and chaplains are for. I had many of Trio's nurses look at me and bluntly tell me "You need to go for a walk and get out we'll keep a special eye/ear out for him". So I do not believe that this didn't happen to this Emily woman. And it scares me that she has two more children (who are with their father and not with her as she is in jail) and I hope that they don't have to stay with her. I hope there is some grandparent on either side that takes over because obviously this woman is not capable of taking care of her children if she was trying to kill her own child.
And that's also a point. She knew what it would do and still did it and her reasoning behind her insane logic is that it's hard to go back to that life after 2.5 years. Would it suck for something to happen to my son to cause us to be in the hosptial for long periods of time again? It would suck beyond the telling of it you have no idea how much I would hate that. What I would hate worse? Losing him so I would suck it up and deal with it, knowing that life in the hosptial is far worse for him than me because he has no understanding of what's going on and he's getting poked and prodded and given glycerin tablets to make him poop. Me I would deal and that's what this woman should have done and if she didn't want to be there all the time which is perfectly understandable she should have called in reinforcements instead of posioning her child!
I just can't imagine someone doing that to a child that is already sick. It makes me so sad. I can't even be as articulate as I want to be right now I am just so......
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