I turned in an application to Hastings yesterday and I am very excited about it. I did originally want to go to Blizzard but upon reflection it seems that Hastings is more me. I told them I would be available to start work December 1st so hopefully everything will work out for me.
The hardest part of this so far was telling the mother of the little girl I babysit that I had to turn in an application.
I'm not very a confrontational person. Stop laughing, I hear you, I'm serious. When I actually do confront somebody about something then it has been boiling awhile and when it gets too much is when I blow up and really tear someone a new one. So telling the woman this was hard for me. I anticipated yelling, insults, etc but she took it well. I am one of those people that I tend to think the worst will come out of a situation which is probably one of the reasons I hate confrontation so much. But it also that I forgot that this woman, for all her flaws and shortcomings (which everyone has don't get me wrong) understands doing what is best for you and yours and that sometimes you have to make small sacrifices to help out in the long run.
And that's what I'm doing. While part of me understands the huge benefits of working (we can pay off bills quicker, maybe can think about getting a house, etc) I do hate that I'm going back to work not even two years after Trio was born. What's a little more of a bitter pill is that, while part of me wants to stay at home, part of me wants to work. Whether it's because my husband is inadvertently (or on purpose) making me feel like a bum or I just need something really productive to do with part of my time so I don't feel so effing crazy. Plus the whole money thing is really big; I know it seems like I'm obsessed with money but I don't like living just barely making it I like to have my bills paid and then some for emergencies or even just fun like going out on date nights to eat or to the movies.
So keep your fingers crossed for me on this job; hopefully I will get it.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Possible Job Hunting
It's looking like I might have to consider getting a job soon. It's something I've thought about for awhile but it is starting to look like it might be better for everything in my life if I have something else outside of the house to occupy my time. I am feeling a little stifled on some levels.
Part of me feels bad because I flat out don't want to put Trio in daycare. I've been on that side and even though I'm not thinking all daycares I realize the position those teachers are in sometimes and I don't want to put anyone through that. For example when my kid is running a 103 degree fever and my boss won't let me out I don't want my child to be miserable without me and to expose kids to him and his germs. However I know how daycares turnover rates are as in my first year as lead in the toddler room before I left for maternity I went through about five afternoon teachers and that constant stream in and out is just not gonna work for me. So I have to get a night job or a work at home because while I'm sure I need the time out of the house and the stimulation I refuse to budge on putting him in daycare.
Starwood Hotels has a work at home option for reservations people but they need you to be free between 10 am and 12 midnight which is so not gonna happen with a toddler running around. Right now the best option is a night job which I don't mind but it's just figuring out what night job will work for me. Blizzard (the game company) is an option because they have round the clock shifts but the drawback of that is no time with hubby. However that is one that is the forerunner as of right now since it would still give me time with Trio.
But today I got an email with another option via Casino Knights; two actually one for a dining staff a la banquet and that one is part time and regular. The other one which may not work out well unless I can do it mainly on weekends is a rental car driver and cleaner. So I sent off my info on that one and am just waiting to see what happens. Here's hoping though because it is looking like a job will help all around. I'll keep you posted.
Part of me feels bad because I flat out don't want to put Trio in daycare. I've been on that side and even though I'm not thinking all daycares I realize the position those teachers are in sometimes and I don't want to put anyone through that. For example when my kid is running a 103 degree fever and my boss won't let me out I don't want my child to be miserable without me and to expose kids to him and his germs. However I know how daycares turnover rates are as in my first year as lead in the toddler room before I left for maternity I went through about five afternoon teachers and that constant stream in and out is just not gonna work for me. So I have to get a night job or a work at home because while I'm sure I need the time out of the house and the stimulation I refuse to budge on putting him in daycare.
Starwood Hotels has a work at home option for reservations people but they need you to be free between 10 am and 12 midnight which is so not gonna happen with a toddler running around. Right now the best option is a night job which I don't mind but it's just figuring out what night job will work for me. Blizzard (the game company) is an option because they have round the clock shifts but the drawback of that is no time with hubby. However that is one that is the forerunner as of right now since it would still give me time with Trio.
But today I got an email with another option via Casino Knights; two actually one for a dining staff a la banquet and that one is part time and regular. The other one which may not work out well unless I can do it mainly on weekends is a rental car driver and cleaner. So I sent off my info on that one and am just waiting to see what happens. Here's hoping though because it is looking like a job will help all around. I'll keep you posted.
Friday, October 9, 2009
When It Rains, It's a Monsoon
There is that saying, "When it rains, it pours" meaning when you have one trouble a whole heap of it comes your way. Well in my case it doesn't stop at pouring it's like a tropical storm. Case in point this last week:
My car shits on me on Tuesday while I'm picking up the little girl I babysit from her school. Long story short it's overheating and we need to replace the water pump. We waited until today to call around because we so did not have the money to pay for it. As a result of the car not running I can't go out of town to see my brother like I wanted to. However it gets better; from what I can ascertain unless we get a deal from someone it's going to cost almost $300 for the labor alone not to mention the part that needs to be replaced. So on top on all the other bills we have due at this time of the month we have to worry about repairing our car. Happy happy joy joy.
On top of everything else this week, the little girl I babysit has been kind of a pill all week (hopefully it will pass tomorrow) Albert and I had a fight last night about something stupid (more on that in a later blog because it is an even bigger issue) and then this morning you know what happened on Trio's end if you read his blog. It has been a hard day I will give it that. And that's what got me to thinking about me and the person I am.
People have always commented to me on how strong I am; I was able to deal with my mother dying at a young age, being almost a complete outsider during my entire teenage years, and then having my husband go over to Iraq twice the second time being really in the thick of it. (I should note that I know a lot of people are going through this but it's for my whole point so bear with me). But I realized it's because when things happen in my life, whether they're changes big or small it's never really just one thing it's a whole bunch. When my mother passed I had to deal with that, plus moving to Houston to live with my aunt for a year so my dad could learn how to get it together on his own. So in addition to learning how to live without my mother, I was in a new place with new people with an aunt who hadn't dealt with pre-teen girls since her own daughter was one and that had been awhile back. Even when I came back it was hard because I went to two different schools in two years where the kids had been together since kindergarten and I was an outsider and thus had no friends.
That's just one thing. Like I knew this week was gonna be stressful on Tuesday but when you factor in how much has happened since then it makes me wonder if I'm strong because it's my genetics or I'm strong because I've been trained to be that way. And I bet other people are like this; when bad shit happens it's not a little turd here and there it's like a huge dump after eating bad Mexican food. So why the small saying? Shouldn't it be something like "When it rains it's a monsoon" or "When it rains run before it floods!". Problems never like hanging out alone they always bring friends. Tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way because if I am then maybe I just do attract problems like a bug zapper.
My car shits on me on Tuesday while I'm picking up the little girl I babysit from her school. Long story short it's overheating and we need to replace the water pump. We waited until today to call around because we so did not have the money to pay for it. As a result of the car not running I can't go out of town to see my brother like I wanted to. However it gets better; from what I can ascertain unless we get a deal from someone it's going to cost almost $300 for the labor alone not to mention the part that needs to be replaced. So on top on all the other bills we have due at this time of the month we have to worry about repairing our car. Happy happy joy joy.
On top of everything else this week, the little girl I babysit has been kind of a pill all week (hopefully it will pass tomorrow) Albert and I had a fight last night about something stupid (more on that in a later blog because it is an even bigger issue) and then this morning you know what happened on Trio's end if you read his blog. It has been a hard day I will give it that. And that's what got me to thinking about me and the person I am.
People have always commented to me on how strong I am; I was able to deal with my mother dying at a young age, being almost a complete outsider during my entire teenage years, and then having my husband go over to Iraq twice the second time being really in the thick of it. (I should note that I know a lot of people are going through this but it's for my whole point so bear with me). But I realized it's because when things happen in my life, whether they're changes big or small it's never really just one thing it's a whole bunch. When my mother passed I had to deal with that, plus moving to Houston to live with my aunt for a year so my dad could learn how to get it together on his own. So in addition to learning how to live without my mother, I was in a new place with new people with an aunt who hadn't dealt with pre-teen girls since her own daughter was one and that had been awhile back. Even when I came back it was hard because I went to two different schools in two years where the kids had been together since kindergarten and I was an outsider and thus had no friends.
That's just one thing. Like I knew this week was gonna be stressful on Tuesday but when you factor in how much has happened since then it makes me wonder if I'm strong because it's my genetics or I'm strong because I've been trained to be that way. And I bet other people are like this; when bad shit happens it's not a little turd here and there it's like a huge dump after eating bad Mexican food. So why the small saying? Shouldn't it be something like "When it rains it's a monsoon" or "When it rains run before it floods!". Problems never like hanging out alone they always bring friends. Tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way because if I am then maybe I just do attract problems like a bug zapper.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Birth Order Drawbacks
It has been a recognized fact that your birth order has some affect on your personality. For example first borns tend to leaders, and a little aggressive while remaining people pleasers. Middle children often feel overlooked and tend to be the complete opposite of their older sibling while babies tend to be be spoiled, financially irresponsible, and somewhat helpless.
Well I am the "baby" and I have to say that while I will own being spoiled and bratty sometimes, I am not a typical "baby" in most ways. However, there is one aspect of being a last born that I can't seem to shake. It feels like no one listens to what I have to say and my opinion is deemed unimportant and treated like it doesn't matter because oh I'm the "baby" and these types of decisions have to be made for me rather than with me. And I must say it gets increasingly frustrating because I'm tired of it. I'm 26 freaking years old you can talk to me about things that are going to affect me if I need an opinion I'll ask for it but otherwise please believe I'm a big girl and can handle it.
And when I give my opinon it's like talking to brick wall because people ignore it and ask me the same damn thing they asked me five months earlier forgetting or ignoring the fact that I've already given my two cents on the topic. I feel like I'm repeating myself all the time because decisions I thought had already been made will come up again later on.
It's getting really annoying to feel like all people hear when I talk is the Charlie Brown trumpet. It's getting to the point where I'm like "Screw it do what the hell ever" because it's not like my opinion means anything; obviously if it did the same damn topics wouldn't be coming up over and over again. It seems like I will never escape the baby aspect of my life where no one listens to me because they think I don't know anything. I really don't know what to do about it but it's getting really old.
Well I am the "baby" and I have to say that while I will own being spoiled and bratty sometimes, I am not a typical "baby" in most ways. However, there is one aspect of being a last born that I can't seem to shake. It feels like no one listens to what I have to say and my opinion is deemed unimportant and treated like it doesn't matter because oh I'm the "baby" and these types of decisions have to be made for me rather than with me. And I must say it gets increasingly frustrating because I'm tired of it. I'm 26 freaking years old you can talk to me about things that are going to affect me if I need an opinion I'll ask for it but otherwise please believe I'm a big girl and can handle it.
And when I give my opinon it's like talking to brick wall because people ignore it and ask me the same damn thing they asked me five months earlier forgetting or ignoring the fact that I've already given my two cents on the topic. I feel like I'm repeating myself all the time because decisions I thought had already been made will come up again later on.
It's getting really annoying to feel like all people hear when I talk is the Charlie Brown trumpet. It's getting to the point where I'm like "Screw it do what the hell ever" because it's not like my opinion means anything; obviously if it did the same damn topics wouldn't be coming up over and over again. It seems like I will never escape the baby aspect of my life where no one listens to me because they think I don't know anything. I really don't know what to do about it but it's getting really old.
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